…Which means it’s almost time for you to wrap yourself in tinfoil, head over to your local Chipotle (after 6 p.m. on Saturday the 31st), and obtain delicious free burrito-ness.
Sweet.
You can also dress up as a bol, or ingredient, or…whatever you want, really. As long as it’s something they serve.
Do it.
My dad called me this morning to tell me a joke. A joke that he’s already told me like three times. But he thinks it’s just THAT funny, that he’ll call his daughter at 8 a.m. (to be fair, he’s on the east coast) to tell her again:
Two guys from Michigan are killed in a car crash. Since they aren’t the best people around, they end up going to Hell. When they get to Hell, the devil greets them, “Pretty hot down here, huh?”
The two men look at each other and shrug, “We’re from Michigan, and the winter is so long there that this is kind of a nice change.”
The devil, frustrated, goes to Hell’s thermostat (yes, it has a thermostat) and turns it up. He then goes back to see how the two guys are faring, and, to his surprise, he sees them celebrating.
“What’s going on?” He asks the two guys, who look at him and grin.
“It’s so nice down here, we only have about a month that’s as warm as this!”
The devil goes back to the thermostat and turns it up higher, “I’ll show them!”
He goes back to the two guys and, to his surprise, they’re celebrating even more!
“What’s going on?!”
“It’s even NICER down here, we only have two weeks like this in Michigan!”
The devil, frustrated, goes BACK to the thermostat and turns it all the way up. He goes back to see the two men, and, to his surprise, they are jumping around and celebrating even harder.
“What’s going on?!?!”
“We only have ONE DAY like this in Michigan, man, the weather is SO NICE down here!”
The devil can’t believe it. He goes back to the thermostat and decides that, if they like the heat so much, he’ll see how they can handle the cold. So he turns the heat all the way down until it’s freezing. He then goes back to the two men, only to find — to his surprise — that they’re crying tears of joy.
“What’s going on, now?!” He yells, outraged.
“Look around you, man! The Lions won the Super Bowl!!!!”
Him: Really? Sweats?
Me: I’m cold! And hot…
Him: (authoritatively) Something must be wrong with you.
–
Him: Maybe it’s because you’re not as smart as me. OH! Bam! Hit you in the IQ!
The heavy-ish, mildly inconvenient rain in San Francisco today reminds me of rainy days in Manhattan.
My boyfriend hates the city. He can’t imagine living in a tiny apartment in Manhattan, being constantly surrounded by people, or walking amongst tall, grey corporate buildings that fade into a grey skyline. He was raised in small-town America, right in the heart of the midwest. He’s never lived in a big city — no urban sprawls, no built-up skyscrapers, no public-transit-only — and he can’t even begin to imagine himself happy in one.
Ironically, of all the boyfriends I’ve had, he is probably the most inclined toward “city-life”. And, he’s the one of the only ones who hasn’t spent a significant amount of time living in a city. Funny, how that works.
The last five boyfriends, the current one excluded, absolutely hated the City. And they had reason to — at least, more so than the current — as all of them grew up in cities (LA, Mexico City, Tokyo, Madrid/Tokyo, and Hong Kong/Tokyo).
Current boyfriend likes city-type things: going out, bars, being en vogue, people-watching, staying up late into the night. Enjoys signs, civilization, efficiency, and neon lights. One would think that New York would be the perfect place. But no.
Former boyfriends didn’t hate city-type things, but they’d've been much happier (this much was obvious) doing non-city-type things. “LA” liked his motorcycle, “Mexico City” liked the sun, “Tokyo” liked the great, remote outdoors, and “Madrid” and “Hong Kong” disliked the city atmosphere.
It’s just interesting that I have a boyfriend who loves Las Vegas, but rails against city-living, and a bunch of ex-boyfriends who love Patagonia and/or the virgin beaches of the Seychelles, but have lived in cities their entire lives.
I wonder if it’s the men I’m choosing.
